How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news....and encouragement...and there is nothing like the fragrance of a loving conversation with a friend to do your heart some good.
I will admit that in the last month, I have had what seems like an entire season of heartache. I have needed God's love so much, and his presence, and I have experienced it in my prayer life and devotions because of the new growth He has been leading me through. But this last week I have been stunned and humbled by the tender love and healing companionship of my husband and my dear friends.
The fragrance of their love and prayers remind me of the story where the woman comes to Jesus and breaks her costly alabaster jar of perfume on his feet,weeping and washing him with her tears and her tresses. As I think about how the aroma of her blessing spread through the house where Jesus was, I thought about why that vase was her most costly possession. A friend and client of mine recently gave my daughter and I each a gorgeous glass vase with a stopper, from Egypt. She let me choose a rosé and a lavender essential oil fragrance to fill them with, and demonstrated how these amazing fragrances from the Middle East work, how they look, what you can do with them. I drove away from her house smelling like gorgeous roses and the smell lingered even as the gift from her began to bless me more and more....
Mary's jar, was its beauty and scent how she would attract a mate? Cover up her unseemly smells? Was her alabaster jar a saving up of all of her good works or bad deeds? Did the jar's beauty signify her rank in society?
Seems like a symbol, a picture of how we position ourselves in our lives. We set up shop for ourselves, we create our personas. There is a way we like our hair to look, our children to behave, our relationships to function.
I always thought the alabaster jar was a story of love and sacrifice of wealth.....I can see it now also as a woman's total surrender of every pretense and claim to self reliance....and the trading of the things that a woman treasures in this life for the chance to love and bless Christ wholly.....perhaps finally moving into a space where she can be truly, simply, just loved.
Who knows where that woman went after. When I have traded my jar to Christ even in this last week...he has shown me all that he has blessed me with: a tender husband, loving friends, the gift of love here on earth....the smell of those relationships has been precious to me to say the least. It's not even that they have been trying to soothe me superficially...they instead have been speaking the truth of God's great love and their love for me regardless of current events....
The friends God has given me are keeping me going today, what's keeping you going?
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Hangin Up The Short Pants
The other day, I realized that my 14 year old son was taller than me...blonder....more flexible. In honor of the movie Rise of the Guardians, I have started calling him "my Yeti".
I watched that same movie last week with Lauren and Craig, and came to a stunning conclusion: the things of this world that we believe in gain power from us. My fitness plan, yoga, my relationships, my own plans....they require my belief, my energy, my maintenance, my control. They exist be because of me. The only exception in life is that the great omnipotent God of this world does not...He is the source of power and indeed, of life! Even without us believing in Him, He is 100% omnipotent, omnipresent, omnibenevolent....powerful, present, and loving. In contrast, i exist because of Him!
While the things in this life take effort from us to maintain, God Himself does not.
Thank God!
In this small beginning of a revelation for me, my world began to open up in astonishing ways....I can trust God to be there when I am checked out...He loves me when I can't...He is the most powerful when I am utterly powerless but trustingly clinging to Him... See, this is the idea that busted me out of adolescent Christian teendom, the idea that God is grown up enough to take care of everything, and that He is not only good at it, He is exceptional at it...and that love is focused on me when I am focused on Him....and since I am a grown up too, I can be myself! It's okay! God is okay with the fact that I am a weak, PMS prone clown who has a broken heart and eats too much junk food....
Right now, for me, that acceptance and empowering rates way past my homemade double chocolate brownies and a Jane Austen movie and a good bottle of red wine!
I feel like painting everyone I meet with my big wet, sloppy paintbrush of Gods hugeness and all of the infinite possibilities that His Awesomness creates....the letting go of years of guilt, the letting go of unmet expectations, the letting go of control freak behaviors bred through years of performance as a Christian....the sheer enjoyment of being able to pray knowing deep in my heart for the first time that God is listening lovingly, has a plan, and wants to bless me....and He is moving!!! Can you say JOY?!?!
Hanging up the short pants....time to put on my big girl performance leggings and enjoy hitting my stride as a grown up....paintbrush in hand...
God's awesome greatness is keeping me going today, what's keeping you going?
I watched that same movie last week with Lauren and Craig, and came to a stunning conclusion: the things of this world that we believe in gain power from us. My fitness plan, yoga, my relationships, my own plans....they require my belief, my energy, my maintenance, my control. They exist be because of me. The only exception in life is that the great omnipotent God of this world does not...He is the source of power and indeed, of life! Even without us believing in Him, He is 100% omnipotent, omnipresent, omnibenevolent....powerful, present, and loving. In contrast, i exist because of Him!
While the things in this life take effort from us to maintain, God Himself does not.
Thank God!
In this small beginning of a revelation for me, my world began to open up in astonishing ways....I can trust God to be there when I am checked out...He loves me when I can't...He is the most powerful when I am utterly powerless but trustingly clinging to Him... See, this is the idea that busted me out of adolescent Christian teendom, the idea that God is grown up enough to take care of everything, and that He is not only good at it, He is exceptional at it...and that love is focused on me when I am focused on Him....and since I am a grown up too, I can be myself! It's okay! God is okay with the fact that I am a weak, PMS prone clown who has a broken heart and eats too much junk food....
Right now, for me, that acceptance and empowering rates way past my homemade double chocolate brownies and a Jane Austen movie and a good bottle of red wine!
I feel like painting everyone I meet with my big wet, sloppy paintbrush of Gods hugeness and all of the infinite possibilities that His Awesomness creates....the letting go of years of guilt, the letting go of unmet expectations, the letting go of control freak behaviors bred through years of performance as a Christian....the sheer enjoyment of being able to pray knowing deep in my heart for the first time that God is listening lovingly, has a plan, and wants to bless me....and He is moving!!! Can you say JOY?!?!
Hanging up the short pants....time to put on my big girl performance leggings and enjoy hitting my stride as a grown up....paintbrush in hand...
God's awesome greatness is keeping me going today, what's keeping you going?
Friday, June 14, 2013
20/20 hindsight and a 12 gauge shotgun
Apparently I haven't written here since September ....been busy? I have been, with an antidepressant addiction, a near death experience and a lot of new business......I have experienced the learning curve in the extreme in the last year and I have learned a few things...
Just cause the medication is slowly killing you doesn't mean you throw away a year of inner peace that it brought you to help you get centered...kick it and move on...
If a situation scares you, friggin run! Figure out the why later!
Work is important. Why you do it is more important. Who you are doing it for is even more important!
See, here's the thing....when I clean your toilets, I am not just getting something clean....I am hopefully freeing you up to manage the other messes in your life....and I am not there to tell you how to do that. I am nobodies lifesaver...only a helper. My expertise and experiences qualify me to walk my life in greater freedom and strength, they don't qualify me to set your life right.
Cause God never wastes a life lesson. He uses it to teach me how to be a better warrior, in my life spiritually, physically, and emotionally...and conversely, how to be a better minister to others. My pain can allow me to empathize....but never sermonize.
Gods grace is keeping me going today..what is keeping you going?
Just cause the medication is slowly killing you doesn't mean you throw away a year of inner peace that it brought you to help you get centered...kick it and move on...
If a situation scares you, friggin run! Figure out the why later!
Work is important. Why you do it is more important. Who you are doing it for is even more important!
See, here's the thing....when I clean your toilets, I am not just getting something clean....I am hopefully freeing you up to manage the other messes in your life....and I am not there to tell you how to do that. I am nobodies lifesaver...only a helper. My expertise and experiences qualify me to walk my life in greater freedom and strength, they don't qualify me to set your life right.
Cause God never wastes a life lesson. He uses it to teach me how to be a better warrior, in my life spiritually, physically, and emotionally...and conversely, how to be a better minister to others. My pain can allow me to empathize....but never sermonize.
Gods grace is keeping me going today..what is keeping you going?
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