Ever get to the end of a week and wonder how you made it through? Have trouble remembering just what you have all done? This week has been crazier than ever, what with work, school, home, bake sales, parent council stuff, not to mention the thirty thousand other things that one has to get done this time of year.
One of my clients got her Fall cleaning done courtesy of Killer Clean this week. Her curtains were vacuumed, ledges were wiped, art frames washed, cupboards emptied and wiped....tons of things that most of us rarely ever get around to...well....ever!!!
The thing is, this week was doubly tiring for those of us who suffer from paranoia or anxiety (this means me). Not only was I tired from going up and down stairs and ladders and wiping wiping wiping.....in my mind I have been going up and down the levels in my mind and trying to wipe out many of the doubts and anxieties that have been cropping up...
Who isn't worried about finances or our weight, or our children, or Christmas coming around the corner? Who isn't tending their bodies, their mind, their spirit, their emotions, their families....the levels of our lives. With anxiety, I find that tending these levels in my own mind are like climbing stairs between the levels of a house. Exhausting. Compulsive. Demanding. Paranoia Inducing.
How do I get off the stairs? How do I level the levels in my mind so that I can deal with one package rather than what feels like an overwhelming number of intangible things that need to be dealt with?
I don't know.
Seriously.
I don't know what to do anymore in some of these stressful situations.
I'm looking for something lasting.....
I know what won't work in the long run: alcohol, sex, money, movies, chocolate, slurpees, manicures, pedicures, facials, girlfriends, random strangers in the grocery store, speeding recklessly....darn.
In reading Ecclesiastes with my boys this week I was reminded about just how fleeting the things of life are.....as fleeting as my emotions.....like bubbles blown outside in the wind that float off.....then pop!
Centering my mind on Christ, and realizing that He is watching over the things of this world, including me, and it allows me to put all the stairs and all the levels of my life in His hands, even just for a moment....and lets me rest. Beside the still waters..... where He restores my soul....Surely goodness and MERCY will follow me all the days of my life...
I might shoot off again to deal with something else....I might get grounded by some crippling thoughts of sudden injuries inflicted on my children....I might be too tired to produce baking for school or paint for a ceiling project....BUT, I have found a place to rest now. And I am practising returning to that place as often as I can to keep the peace in my heart and mind...and in my life...
My little piece of heaven is growing in my heart..and it is keeping me going today...what is keeping you going?
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