Life at the Barre

Most of my friends know that I have been taking an adult Ballet class lately....a childhood dream of mine coming to fruition now that ! am old enough to pay for myself.

I love it. I look old and droopy and fat in front of the full length mirror, but my love of this form of dance has overcome most of my insecurities. It also helps that there are usually only four of us, and I am usually the youngest one...

Every class, we warm up, do core work, leg work, and work at the barre.

The barre is my favorite. It is where we do our five positions, our plies, and all of the other french words that mean "your butt is really going to hurt tomorrow"! At the barre, I feel like a ballerina. The barre is where every ballerina starts to work on her form and her repertoire as a dancer. It involves holding onto a barre with one hand, and using it to support yourself as you move through the moves that the teacher asks of you. Eventually, when you are strong enough, you do the positions free form, but generally speaking, a ballerina spends a lot of time at the barre.

Lately, I have been meditating on the faithfulness of God. I turn the concept of a faithful God over and over in my head as I compare who God says He is, to how I act in life, especially under trials.  God is faithful when we are not....I am so unfaithful, how can I begin to understand how faithful god is?

The Seventh Day Adventist Church here on 16th has a lettered sign up with the verse "You never change; thy word is settled in heaven, O god, and I will hasten to obey". Every time I drive by, I read it and think about how God is always there, unchanging.

He's like the Barre in the dance of my life......no matter what steps I do, or where I fall, he is faithful, unchanging. He is the thing that I can hold onto to help me get my steps and my form right. He demands holiness from me, something I can never achieve without His son Jesus, or His Holiness itself.

It seems like a childish comparison perhaps, but one that comforts me these days.  I need to know that God is faithful, and that He is also available to me through Christ. If He never changes, if His word never changes, then I can trust that He is always there, no matter where I go or what I do. I long for stability in my life, and a love that never changes. This Christmas season that longing for a faithful love is stronger than ever in the face of the trials and problems that I struggle. Every time I screw up, I need to return to Christ and ask him to help me walk in his way again.....and even though it is work, in my heart and spirit and life, it is good work, work that I want to do...

I can't imagine how I would do in Ballet if I showed up this week and found the barre missing, and the teacher expecting some free form work. I'd probably fall over.

I can't imagine how I would do if I woke up one morning and didn't have Jesus to trust for the day...and God watching and expecting holiness. I'd die.

This Christmas, I need Jesus.

Bring on the sore butts...

My love for ballet is keeping me going today, what is keeping you going?